i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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