end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
