You're my little dorito
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Randomize
