There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
