Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
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