Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
