dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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