Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.

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(770): View more from Georgia

it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there

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(519): View more from Ontario

He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night

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(847): View more from Illinois

I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog

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(519): View more from Ontario

Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?

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