she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
