By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
