He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
