I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
