She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
