dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize