Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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