good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
