I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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