Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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