My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
this is an emotional support booty call
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
how drunk are you?
Several
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize