My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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