as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you will always have a special place in my vag
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
