i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
