Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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