belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize