What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
