just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
