So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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