Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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