I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
