I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
