I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
