my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
