just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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