I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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