she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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