how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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