last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
