The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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