hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
dude. I can hear the air.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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