I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
