We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
