I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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