the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
