dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
