I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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