I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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