I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
