If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
