Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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