I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
