he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's shark week go big or go home
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
