Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just pynch a tree in the face
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
