I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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