i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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