Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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