kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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