she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
