I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
