Bisexual people are plain selfish.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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