My nipple is on Facebook.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
