I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize