Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
