you guys were way drunker than both of me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
