How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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