you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
