nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
