Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
